Tell it to the church

Sermon by Pr. Sharai Jacob on the Fifteenth Sunday after Pentecost + Sunday, September 6, 2026

Hard conversations are the worst! It can be so painful to address problems in our relationships. Some of us might choose to avoid them altogether! It can be so hard to hear a loved one explain to you that something has gone wrong. Something has hurt them. And now you have to decide together what to do about it.

That is the kind of situation Jesus addresses in today’s Gospel reading, “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.”

Jesus gives us a whole process. If that doesn’t work, bring one or two others. If that doesn’t work, bring it before the church. And if that doesn’t work, let that person be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector? This sounds like Jesus has handed us an instruction manual: four rules for conflict resolution.

If that is what Jesus is asking us to do, I’m not sure this is a passage I want to preach on…

I’m sure many of us have experienced moments when “religious rules” became weapons. “Well Jesus said…, the Bible says…, the rules are the rules…” And suddenly the person who was supposed to be our neighbor, our sibling, becomes an enemy.

I’d like to suggest that we read this passage in a different way. We don't want to ignore what Jesus says, but we also shouldn't pretend that Matthew’s community was exactly like our church today. Instead, let’s ask: What is the value behind the rule?

Because Matthew is writing to a community that understood itself more like an extended family. It shaped nearly every part of their lives. While maybe we strive to be that way, the truth is: we live differently. Church is one important community among many. We have families and friends, coworkers and neighbors, communities online. 

And our culture creates a strong sense of individualism. My life is my life. My boundaries are my boundaries. My faith is my faith. There is something very good in that. It creates the opportunity to set healthy boundaries. And it places importance on privacy and consent.

So in step 3, when Jesus says, “Tell it to the church,” we shouldn't automatically conclude that the faithful thing for us to do is drag someone into the middle of the congregation and lay bare their sins. That rule belongs to a particular community in a particular time. 

But underneath that rule is a value that still speaks to us: We are not meant to carry everything alone. When something goes wrong between us, we need community. Not an audience or a jury. Not an angry mob, but a loving community.

And, loving community does not mean forced vulnerability. A rule that requires vulnerability can totally destroy a community. The church should not become a place where someone says, “Jesus told me to confront you,” and then demands access to your deepest wounds. 

Jesus is not asking us to manufacture intimacy. He is asking us to cultivate a community where deeper relationships are possible. And that may happen through small things, the things we already do as church: Sharing a meal, checking in when someone has been away, sitting beside someone who is grieving, asking, “How are you?” and actively listening to their answer. These things may seem small, but this is how the bonds of community become stronger.

We don't have to pretend that our congregation is a first-century extended family. But we can embrace the values of this Gospel reading in ways that help us to create a healthy, caring community of faith.

Conflict is inevitable. Jesus doesn't seem surprised by that. He doesn't say, “If you are really Christian, you won't hurt one another.” He starts with the assumption that we will! We will say things we wish we hadn't said. We are all sinners, there’s no question about that.

The question is: What kind of community will we be when that happens?

And that brings us to another value behind these rules: Protect one another's dignity. The rules that Jesus names are clearly created to try to keep both parties within the community. The goal is not to win the argument, or to harm the offending party. The goal is restoration and healing. 

Even at the end of the passage, when Jesus says that someone who refuses to listen should be treated “as a Gentile and a tax collector.” It sounds like: Kick them out - they're no longer one of us. But if we remember who Gentiles and tax collectors are in Matthew's Gospel. They are not people Jesus tells us to hate. They are people Jesus reaches out to. And by the end of Matthew's Gospel, Jesus sends his disciples to reach out to the gentiles too. So even this difficult language about exclusion contains a seed of hope that one day we will be community together again.

But, there are situations when communities really do need strong boundaries. In a situation where the vulnerable must be protected, love should not permit harm or abuse. When we have to draw a boundary, we can say: You cannot continue to harm people, you need to step away. And also: We hope for your healing and your repentance. We have not forgotten your humanity, even if you have. 

Jesus concludes here with his famous words: “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” I’ve heard this used as a comforting promise for those Sundays when attendance is low. Two or three people at Bible study? Jesus is there. And that’s true!

But looking at the context in today's Gospel reading: Jesus says this while talking about conflict. He is saying that God is present in the work of becoming a community. Jesus is present when we tell the truth, and listen with open hearts. When we set a boundary to protect the vulnerable. When we choose restoration over revenge.

That is the beloved community Jesus is inviting us to become. Not a community without disagreements, or where everyone follows rules perfectly. But a community where relationships truly matter. 

So perhaps the deepest message of this odd little rulebook is: we belong to one another, so we must learn how to love each other when loving becomes difficult.

It is a much harder calling than following a four-step procedure. It is also a much more beautiful one. To become a community where our failures do not have the final word. Because Jesus is not waiting for us on the other side of our conflicts. Jesus is there in the messy, painful conversations. In apologies and boundaries. 

Whenever two or three people gather and say: we are going to try to be community together. Jesus is there.

Amen.